Really Proud of Myself Right Now

Jules was up all night with the little dude. We are training him to sleep in his own room and last night was Jules’s turn to go to him when he wakes up to sooth him back to bed.

Sounds like last night was tough for Jules. I wouldn’t know, because I slept great. 😥😅 But my wife did not sleep much at all.

I got up at 4:45ish to take him downstairs so Jules could go back to sleep.

As soon as I brought him downstairs, he started being fussy. He’s been yelling at me, flailing his arms around, kicking… it’s stressful. I’m a pretty calm and collected person but sometimes when he loses it like that I start to panic and get flustered.

When he acts this way, it’s almost always because he’s hungry.

I kept getting to my limit. “Fuck this” I say as I start to walk him up to the bedroom so Jules can feed him and get him to calm down.

I started walking halfway up the stairs 3 different times to wake up Jules. Every time I did I thought, “Just give it a few more minutes.”

A fly on the wall would have been so confused. Watching me take trips half way up the stairs, pausing, standing in the middle of the stairwell in the dark with a baby, and then turning around and walking back down.

“Give it a few more minutes.”

He was crying loud enough that I was scared Jules would wake up.

But after an hour of trying to sooth him, he finally fell back to sleep.

I’m feeling really proud of myself for sticking through that hell hour of him wailing and throwing haymakers at my face.

Jules gets to sleep, little man is happy, and I get the peaceful morning to myself to write and plan my day.

I’m feelin good.