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The Process Is The Solution
Do you have problems? Probably.
Unfortunately, the real problems in life (the ones that keep you up and night) rarely have binary solutions. There’s never a finish line, a pat on the back, or a “I’m glad that’s over.”
Most of our problems aren’t actually problems at all, they’re maladies.
They’re nagging voices in the night that confuse us and make us feel ashamed for reasons we don’t quite understand.
There is a solution to quieting these voices, but it’s not the one you’re looking for. It’s not like pulling out a splinter.
This has been the biggest gift that sobriety has given me. I no longer stare off into space and wonder “how come I don’t feel right?”
Because no one feels right. And even the people who do, only feel right for fleeting moments. We only ever have it figured out through short burst of grace.
Most people punish themselves for not having it figured out. They subject themselves to strange unwritten rules that lay in the undercurrent of our culture. Most people feel like they are doing something wrong. I can relate.
But there’s another way. You don’t have to carry the invisible weight of uncertainty. You can drop the rock. It’s not serving you.
You can embrace your maladies and view them as a process to be enjoyed, rather then a problem to be solved. Because figuring it out is the fun part.
The process is the solution. The repetitions slowly teach you lessons and give you perspective that morph you into the person you’re meant to become. This is the process. This is the path to contentment. Not happiness (because why would anyone want to be happy all the time?), but contentment.
The problem is that most people avoid the process, or rather they think that the process is punishment because their process doesn’t look the same as someone else’s. You look for a solution. You look for an answer and you refuse to embrace the reality that life is meandering. What you thought you understood yesterday is confusing today. Or sometimes you may be going about your day and suddenly you get hit with a moment of clarity.
“Oh shit, I get it.”
And then you don’t. Or maybe you do. It doesn’t matter.
But the only way to get to the point where life doesn’t nag at you every night is by facing yourself and coming to grips with the realities that you work so hard to avoid. Hopefully, when you get to that moment, you real realize that the struggles, the confusion, the dreams, the failures, the successes and all the moments you came up short … well, that’s where the magic is.
That’s the reason you’re alive.
There is freedom in acknowledgement and your answers are hidden in the process.
Enjoy the ride.