What does "more emotional" mean to you?

For me, "more emotional" is not the same as "allow me to cry instead of doing my duties."

The trouble with mental health in our country is that men are told not to show emotions. To pretend they doesn't exist. That's the path to addiction. That's numbing, hiding, depression, isolation.

Me of 10 years ago would pretend it didn't happen. Pretend I didn't have emotions. This took me to bad places. I'm a human, pretending I don't have emotions doesn't work. Everyone is emotional. All decisions are emotional.

If my friend or partner wrongs me, I want to check in, figure out what my emotions tell me, find out why it hurt, then talk to about it.

Old me would numb. Video games. Porn. Worse. Then those feelings would fester and build resentment and ultimately lash out.

Addressing my emotions head on is what "more emotional" me does. For me, "more emotional" means "be authentic." I believe that a General MUST gather himself and process his emotions before making decisions. The The West Wing episode "A Proportional Response " illustrates this perfectly. The President has a lot of feelings about something. He wants to destroy something. He's not rational because of unprocessed feelings. He creates the space for himself, then comes back and makes a more sound decision. THAT is what being "more emotional" means to me. It's allowing men to have them in the first place, without judgement.

Expand full comment

Tim, it's not about MAKING men cry. It's about allowing men to have the space to feel the feelings they have & get support for it. I have studied this issue a lot, and I find that men and women are less different than we are made to believe. We're really very much alike. Women are not from Venus, men are not from Mars. We're all from the same place.

Expand full comment