Sam Harris was on The Prof G Show yesterday.
I was taking little man for a walk, half paying attention to the podcast, and half paying attention to all the buzzing thoughts in my head.
I’ve been struggling recently. I haven’t been talking about it much. I can’t put my figure on it exactly. I’ve been feeling… down. Depressed maybe? I’m not sure.
My thoughts have been centered around myself, which is the worst place for me to be. Working from home makes it difficult to think about anything else other than myself. If I’m being super honest, I still haven’t made any true friends in Nashville. All of my friends are scattered across the country. My world exists inside the walls of my home.
Anyway, as I was going for my walk last night, I was thinking about all the aspects of my life I wish were different. You could even say I was feeling bad for myself.
That’s when those words came into my ears and flipped my day right around.
Sam Harris was talking about how some of the Psychedelic trips he’s had gave him perspective into the petty bullshit that he pays attention to. That’s when he said it.
“You become what you pay attention to.”
I rewound the podcast to hear the line again. I stopped on the side of the road and gave it some more thought.
What have I been paying attention to?
As I reflect on that, I do see some of the positives. I’m loving every second I get to spend with Jules and the little dude. I’m feeling great about a lot of things.
But I am lacking gratitude. I am spending more time thinking about what I don’t have, than thinking about what I do have.
I need daily reminders of how good I have it. I need to always remember where I come from, and what it took for me to get here. When I look at my life through a lens of gratitude, suddenly all my trivial problems feel so petty that I’m embarrassed to actually be worried about them.
I will work on it. I will pay more attention to what I am paying attention to.